


You Must Philosophise

by Lissy (Alicia_H)



Category: Frasier - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-04-25
Updated: 2011-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-18 15:56:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/190566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicia_H/pseuds/Lissy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After joining forces in a farcical and ultimately failed attempt to split up Daphne and Donny during 'Decoys', as well as pretending to be in love to hide their plot from Frasier, Niles and Roz surprise even themselves by embarking on a real relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You must philosophise,  
> But why must you bore me to tears?  
> You're red around the eyes,  
> You tell me things no one else hears.  
> You spend all your time crying,  
> Crying the hours into years,  
> Crying the hours into years.
> 
> Come, lend your time to me,  
> And you will know that you are free.  
> And when you look at me,  
> Don't think you're owning what you see,  
> For remember that you're free,  
> And that's what you want to be,  
> So just lend your time to me.
> 
> You must philosophise,  
> You tell me things no one else hears.  
> You're red around the eyes,  
> Why must you bore me to tears?  
> Autopsy by Sandy Denny/Fairport Convention

As the door of lakefront cottage slammed shut, Niles reflected on the damage he'd done over the course of one afternoon. He glanced at his partner-in-crime. Roz gave him a tired, resigned look.

"Well," Niles said.

Talking to the middle distance, Roz said, "Yeah."

"Seems like all love's losers have done is made their wounds deeper," Niles admitted by way of filling the silence. Anything would be better than silence, surely? "Looks like we'll have to do some real licking tonight!"

"God, Niles!" Roz's hands rose to her head, hovering over her ears as she strode over the couch. "Do you have any idea how that sounded? Please tell me you don't. You're Niles! You're not allowed to think like that and you sure as hell aren't allowed to say it."

She first dropped her hands to her side then slammed her body down into a sitting position with a groan. Niles coughed and her head whipped round to stare he hurried in a funny stiff jog round the back of the couch. He perched beside her.

"What are you saying, Roz? I'm not sure I ever expected for you be so cryptic. In fact this unexpected circumstance has left me so shocked that my marvellous powers of deduction have ceased to work. In other words, what on earth are you talking about?"

Roz crossed her arms. "Give it a minute," she told him patiently.

"Oh." Niles covered his mouth with his hand and considered what this might mean about his frame of mind and certain desires. With a whirlwind of thoughts whipping around his head, what his brain actually chose to communicate with his vocal chords was another, slightly weaker, "Oh."

"Yeah," Roz repeated. "So…"

Niles stared at Roz, agitated with her for leaving the thought dangling. His brain tried to help him but all it gave him was images. Strangely enough, the direct translation of these turned out to be an echo of Roz's words.

"So…" Niles sighed. "At least I know you weren't being cryptic. Our joining forces hasn't inverted reality that much."

"Watch it or I'll be running up the road to join the others at that bed and breakfast. Then you really would be on your own, Mr Roz-Can't-Be-Intelligent-Or-Attractive-Without-The-World-Being-Wrong."

"Dr," Niles corrected her, finding as smile as he did so.

"Yeah, 'Dr'." Roz agreed, shifting a little bit closer to him on the couch as they shared an unsettled look. "Hey Niles, just so you know, you're not the only one finding this weird."

"What do we do about it?"

"I say we have two choices: Get over it or give up."

Niles nodded in agreement. They sat there for a while until Niles, not quite believing or acknowledging to himself what he was doing, took Roz's hands in his. He began to stroke her left hand slowly with his thumb. Niles smiled at Roz again, feeling a smidgen of hope that he couldn't quite explain and certainly didn't plan to share with anyone except perhaps Roz herself. Roz, for her part had slipped her hand round the back of his neck. She was gazing at him with the furious fire in her eyes he'd seen directed towards her previous conquests at a stage when they had yet to be conquered. With his head still not entirely caught up with his actions, Niles leaned in to kiss her.

\---

"I need to move on, don't I? Climb out of this slump I've descended into. I have to accept that Daphne is with someone now and I've missed my chance."

Niles Crane sounded like he didn't quite trust his own words, speaking slowly and unenthusiastically. Frasier, however, leapt at this chance to encourage and reassure his younger brother.

"Niles, I can honestly say that's the best thing you could do. Here's to moving on from Daphne and from Maris too! You are a single, unattached man and I say you should enjoy it."

He held up his glass in a toast and watched as it gleam as it caught the rosy light glittering from the chandelier.

"Cheers," Niles said, raising his glass and then drinking to his brother's words. "And here's to no more of my sitting around feeling down in the dumps about - Daphne! How dare he bring her here!"

"Niles, what are you talking about - oh…" Frasier turned his head as he spoke and saw Daphne and Donny, holding hands near the door, speaking closely as they waited for their table. Obviously this was the sight that had so angered Niles. He could see Niles had frozen, staring at the pair with such intensity that he might have thought that would drive them apart. Frasier tried to placate him. "Now come on, Niles. You promised you were over her and now you can prove it to yourself."

Niles took a breath. Then another. Then he appeared to stop his breathing all together. There was a frightening, jealous glint in his eye that put Frasier on edge. He never really thought of Niles' obsessive infatuation with Daphne as being dangerous, at least not in this way. It may be incredibly frustrating, not least for Niles himself, and highly annoying to Frasier at times and upsetting at others when his little brother sank to depressing lows. Yet it was a fact of life. Niles would always be pursuing Daphne. He was the same with Maris, in his way, but Daphne was infinitely warmer and more personable than Maris and this was what Niles had needed all along really. Unfortunately, with the way things were going, it seemed he would never truly have her.

Frasier patted his brother's hand. "Don't let it get to you Niles."

Niles reanimated himself purely to make a jibe at the words Frasier had honestly meant to be encouraging. "Don't let it get to me? Do you have any idea what you're saying? It already got to me the moment he stole Daphne from under my very nose."

Daphne and Donny were brought to the table behind Frasier, giving Niles a clear view of whatever they were doing. The fates could not have arranged it better if they'd sat down together for a meeting to discuss plans for spoiling the evening of some small, insignificant human by the name Dr. Niles Crane and, by association, his, very nearly, equally insignificant brother, Dr. Frasier Crane. At this moment Frasier's main annoyance stemmed from Niles' second by second commentary, both whispered and mumbled in increasingly agitated tones.

Frasier let Niles stew until the food came. He'd known Niles hadn't been prepared to give up on Daphne, despite his announcement. It was in part because of his making it into a grand announcement that Frasier had known Niles' heart wasn't sold on abandoning its hopeful love and sadly he had to admit to himself that Niles would be pining for Daphne for a long while yet. It was unfortunate that Daphne had been seated so close tonight because Niles' toast to moving on had been a start, albeit a small and now probably scuppered one.

"I think you should see someone, Niles."

"I don't know which definition of 'seeing someone' you're using," Niles interrupted sternly, "and, frankly, I don't like either of them."

"I meant you really should think about dating, at the very least to take your mind off Daphne. I know that doesn't sound like an easy thing, and it won't be, but I truly think it might help."

Niles made a small sound of despair in the back of his throat. He caught himself in time but was forced to make his confession to the table rather than his brother as a result. "It hurts, Frasier. Really, every single day, it hurts. Even if suddenly I begin to realise that I might be a little interested in a asking certain woman to join me for, perhaps, a coffee or two, I couldn't help but be worried my feelings for Daphne would get in the way of me really trying with the relationship."

"Well, it's clear that you've never considered this in the slightest," Frasier said, the sarcasm present in his voice but his tone gentle. Carefully, he asked his brother who this young lady was who he might possibly want to invite for a coffee.

Niles shook his head. "I'd really rather not say. It's delicate, I suppose. It might not happen, even if I do ask and she does say yes. As this is assuming, as you clearly have done, that we are discussing a real lady and not a hypothetical woman…"

"Niles, you're blushing."

"I am not!" Niles replied in an over dramatically appalled voice that Frasier took note of.

They were able to share a smile at the absurdity and concentrate on their meal and debate the merits of several operas they were yet to watch but were due to come on their calendar very soon. Niles seemed to be sufficiently distracted from Daphne. He even, Frasier thought, had a kind of far away look that could mean he was seriously considering asking out this supposedly hypothetical woman he clearly had a soft spot for.

Indeed, Frasier hadn't realised quite how surprisingly smoothly things had been going until Niles glanced up and made a disgusted face in the direction of Daphne's table.

"Look at him, shovelling forkfuls of food down her throat as if she can't feed herself," he muttered bitterly. "Then, if her food's anywhere near as lifeless as mine, he might be force feeding her so he can drag her back to his cave all the quicker. I'd offer them some of the Pouilly-Fuissé to wash it down, but I wouldn't wish this monumentally overpriced atrocity on anyone, least of all someone someone as lovely and unassuming as Daphne."

"Niles! I'm going to tell you to stop this right now. If your food is honestly that bad, you will complain to the waiter and if you feel the wine is unpalatable, I shall call the wine steward over at you can tell him so yourself. You will not use it as an excuse to rant to me about Donny and Daphne and certainly not within their earshot."

Niles attempted to argue, but Frasier raised a warning finger and told him they would swap seats if he couldn't stop torturing himself by watching them. Immediately, Niles stood up to make the switch. Of course, no sooner had this move been executed, than the table now in Niles' line of sight was suddenly occupied by his ex-wife and an escort who was at least half the age she most often claimed to be.


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, Frasier, I must thank you again for the most stressful and horrendous evening out I've experienced for a good long while."

"Glad you enjoyed it," Frasier replied, his voice taking on the same dark, dry tones as his brother.

Rain spattered across the pavement as they waited for their cab to pull up, the first indication of the unholy deluge they were to be subjected to for the rest of the night. Cars sped past them in both directions, splashing up ever more water. Within the first few minutes it brought the traffic to the kind of shuddering halt that only unexpected weather can bring about.

After a short stretch of silently huddling under their respective umbrellas, Niles resurrected the conversation. "You know, we really must do this again some time."

"Yes and I'll be sure to invite Lilith, Nanette and Diane along next time. I see no reason why you should get to have all the fun."

They shared a darkly humorous laugh. Overhead, thunder rolled. There had been no lightning to warn of its impending arrival, though the sky was dark enough for a dramatic light show.

"Hey, Frasier?"

"Yes, Niles," Frasier said with a sigh that communicated all the general apathy they both felt about the evening.

Their cab pulled up before Niles could get his thoughts together and Frasier ushered him in. Once inside, Niles saw that his older brother had his radio face on. This was the face Niles could see in his mind's eye whenever he found himself listening to Frasier's show. He probably didn't wear it all that often in real life. He was certainly wearing it now, though.

"Niles," Frasier hinted, his expression becoming even more like that face than Niles could have imagined possible. "I'm listening."

Niles made his best attempt to avoid talking. This was an inevitable conversation, he hadn't tried to fool himself about that, yet this felt like it was coming too soon. Nothing had happened between Roz and himself since that weekend at the lakefront cottage. All that had really been was the one passionate night and a few fumbled or interrupted attempts to repeat the exercise. It had seemed by the time the day rolled around for everyone to return home that even that night had been one lucky fluke amid a sea of constant miseries. For all of one moment, Niles had thought the tide had finally gone out. That he was finally dry and safe and free to move on with his life like a midnight stroll along an empty beach, maybe even with a certain comely young woman at his side, her hand on his arm...

Niles jolted back to his senses with the shock. The metaphor had broken down into a daydream about walking along the beach with Roz. He was only now beginning to realise that something had to be done about this dire situation. Niles supposed he'd only been considering it to be this little crush that had arisen from his confusion over having slept with her when their relations were a this tipping point between antagonism and this strange new respect and empathy he felt for her, and maybe she for him. Now, it seemed to be evolving into something new in his head. If he wasn't careful, Niles feared he might be naming children by the end of the week.

"There's this woman," Niles said to Frasier at long last.

"She's real, isn't she?" Frasier asked. Though he was speaking as gently as he could, Niles could see that he was burning with the bright curiosity of needing to pry into his beloved brother's private life.

"Yes, she's real. Let's give a prize to the professional psychiatrist for only taking three courses to figure that one out. "

"Niles, I did have my plate full dealing with your distress at being in the same room as Maris and Daphne-"

"Well, Frasier, I'm sorry that spending the night penned between my ex-wife and the woman I've been in love with for the past six years made me feel uncomfortable!"

For several moments they fumed in silence. Niles' wild and whirling thoughts once more picked up their pace. He tried to find something in that night that had bred these feelings but his mind kept drifting to their night at Shady Glen, the lakefront cottage he'd got out of his divorce from Maris.

He recalled how gratifying it had been to wake up with a woman wrapped in his arms and how pleased he'd been that Roz stayed slumbering in his arms for a long while, until the door clattered open downstairs and Frasier bellowed his arrival. Only then had Roz started guiltily. Yet she had stooped to give Niles a kiss before rushing to her own room.

It had taken Niles hours after that moment to rally himself to go downstairs. The comments on his drained appearance came immediately. He was, in Daphne's words 'a bit peaky', a wonder for someone as pale as he was, and even his own father said he looked like hell. Everyone else looked refreshed after their night at the bed and breakfast. Roz looked stunning in a rather rustic way that was befitting her surroundings. She was seemingly content to sit bouncing Alice on her knee while making a bad job of pretending she was listening to one of Frasier's psychobabble stuffed lectures. She might have turned to smile at him, but Niles couldn't be sure. His eyes were drawn to Daphne leaning down over Donny in an armchair and openly kissing him.

Before long, Niles had taken his brother's place on the couch, looking for some comfort in discreetly taking hold of Roz's hand. She did squeeze his hand back but drew it away as Alice began to cry. Roz had jumped up to deal with her daughter, of course, and Niles was left to excuse himself from the company of the loving couple with all the grace of a startled ostrich.

He was happy enough to hide himself away for what he thought would be another few hours. He was also happy not to think too hard about the stabbing disappointment that came when Roz dropped by to check up on him but could not stay long enough to talk. Niles could feel her hand sliding over his forehead to feel for a temperature and Roz's whispered promise that she'd be back later. She didn't return. At least not that he was aware of.

After losing the entirety of that day to fitful bouts of sleep, Niles felt better and he was able to be stoic under the gaze of his family and friends.

Niles asked Roz if she'd like to drive back to Seattle with him that afternoon, giving the question as much gravitas as a marriage proposal. She laughed at his seriousness but it felt not so much as though she was ridiculing him but rather more like she found it endearing. She told him that Frasier had already offered to take her but, she amended when Niles' face fell, she would talk to him.

"Well, someone's got to make sure he doesn't crash," Roz explained to Frasier, punching Niles on the arm and adding before he had caught up enough to argue, "In fact, why don't I drive, Niles?"

Niles had to fight his initial panic at the thought of anyone, much less Roz of all people, driving his Mercedes. At this point there was no point denying that he was trying to make a good impression. He helped Roz secure Alice safely in the back and he admitted that he was glad she was coming with him.

Nile had watched the others drive off home and though he and Roz were not too far behind, they took the time to share a kiss on the porch of Shady Glen. The conversation in the car had come freely and their battle of wits was easily matched on that delightfully sunny Sunday afternoon. It had felt different once back in Seattle. The week following found them slipping back into familiar routines of seeing each other in passing at Cafe Nervosa or the radio station or for awkward evenings at Frasier's apartment.

Their usual sniping felt hollow to Niles since that weekend and he wished desperately that he could drum up the nerve to sit down with Roz to talk it out.

He knew he should say something to his brother. He needn't come clean about it being Roz who was troubling him but perhaps Frasier's advice would help him, whether through being good or by spurring Niles on to prove him wrong.

What he did say was a pitiful sounding, "It's nothing, Frasier. Let's drop it, please."


	3. Chapter 3

Roz's wandering attention was caught by the surprising appearance of a bedraggled Niles appearing in the mudstreaked doorway of Cafe Nervosa and shaking out his sodden umbrella. As she was watching intently him through the windowed divide, Frasier's voice droned on at her from across the table but it was just as much a background noise as the thrum of the rain against the window behind her. Niles caught her staring as he placed his umbrella lovingly in the stand. He acknowledged her with a raised eyebrow. Roz bit down on her thumbnail and smiled at him.

Roz glanced guiltily back at Frasier for a second. He hadn't spotted a thing, so she tuned him out again and fixed her gaze back on Niles. Frasier might catch on and get offended at not being listened to but what could he really do except maybe tell her off for spying. That wouldn't make any difference to whatever was going on through the thin panes of glass. Maybe, on some level, that made it all the more thrilling.

Niles definitely enjoyed being observed. Even now he'd invited Roz into his private scene of silent contemplation, he milked the moment by turning dramatically away to observe the world going by outside. Roz caught herself thinking that he looked pretty good from the side. She tried to order herself to look away but there wasn't really anywhere else to look. She was facing the wrong direction to see what Niles could see, though she realised she could sort of build it up in her head from the sounds coming through the open window. The rain beating down on the sidewalk in shimmering sheets, the water bubbling from blocked drains sloshing across to road to be splashed out from under speeding cars and drench all the people stupid enough to be outside. A harshly bright flash of lightning left everything looking blurry and dim in the second between it leaving and the thunder deafening everyone.

Roz saw Niles shiver as another apocalyptic flash and crash quickly followed the first pair. Today undeniably belonged to this bout of bad weather and, as Frasier had said more than a few times that morning to any KACL colleagues trudging damply past their table, woe betide anyone who might deny its majestic rule.

Niles clearly hadn't got that memo. He bounded up to counter, impressive considering he was carrying two heavy suitcases, and beamed brightly at the waitress. Everything about him was betraying a boyish excitement that held up strong even after he was told his favourite blend had just run out. He simply asked her to surprise him, so long as she remembered to dust his coffee with the faintest whisper of cinnamon. The waitress giggled flirtatiously ask he asked for this, twisting one her perfect blonde curls around her pencil. Roz felt sick as she watched the her over the top performance, not least because she realised she herself worn that exact same goofy, schoolgirlish grin two seconds ago. She could feel traces of it still in her expression.

God, Roz wondered, how did I not see how weird that was? Flirting with Niles and getting jealous when I see some stupid waitress doing the same thing. What bizzaro world did I wake up in this morning?

Roz tried to remember if she spotted any of Frasier and Niles' society friends drooling openly over the hunks at the building site near the park lately. At least then she'd know for sure that something was seriously wrong with the world. She gave it some thought and, once she'd remembered to discount the men, she came up with nothing. She did remember criticising Niles not too long ago for thinking along these same lines, only from the opposite direction. He'd seemed to change his mind pretty quickly after that, if she recalled correctly.

Now didn't that just bring the whole weekend at Niles' cabin rushing back. That must be her answer. The world she'd woken up in today had to be the same one where she'd thought sleeping with Niles was a good idea. He might have been good but she shouldn't still be looking at him that way. He was her friend - sort of. No, he was her friend. Their banter and jokes at each other's expense hadn't been truly insulting for what felt like a long time. He always had good advice for her whenever she asked and boy had she needed that over the past couple of years. Those had been rough years for him too and Roz had tried to return the favour when she could. She thought he might even have listened to her one or two times.

And he had been good. Real good. Surprisingly good.

"Uh-huh," Roz said automatically as Frasier's side of the conversation lulled.

"Hello all," Niles said sunnily as he crossed the room to join Frasier and Roz at their table by the window.

"Niles!" Frasier said, finally noticing and acknowledging his brother. "My, you're awfully cheerful today."

Before he was prepared to reply, Niles stowed his suitcases down by the side of the table and set to fussily dusting down his chair. For the longest time, Roz had only noticed him doing this when she offered him her seat and had assumed he did it because he couldn't stand to sit on something that had been in contact with the likes of her. Eventually she came to see it for the nervous tic it was. It may not be a deliberate insult but knowing that didn't stop Roz wanting to grab that stupid white handkerchief so she could shove it into his mouth and yell at him to get the hell over it. Maybe, just maybe, there was some fancy psychiatry term for that. She'd never bothered asking.

As she was thinking all this, Roz found herself smirking and drawling, "Hey, Niles."

"Nice to see you, Roz," Niles said curtly, almost, but not quite, dismissively. Yet at the same time he paused to give her a strangely furtive second glance. Roz came close to thinking she might have imagined it as he went straight on talking to his brother. "Frasier, are you suggesting that I'm unusually perky for someone who's had his heart stomped on by two women over the course of a single night and has spent the last few weeks holding my my tongue when talking to a certain other someone for fear of further rejection?"

"Well, yes, I suppose I might have been implying-"

"Two women?" Roz interrupted Frasier's awkward mumbling. "What happened?"

Niles sighed and launched into an explanation, "Last night we saw Maris was parading around with what I'm led to believe is the latest in a string of young companions. Naturally this this occurred just as Daphne showed up with Donny and he encouraged her to behave in a way that is quite unbecoming in public. When she came home she couldn't shut up about how proud she was about him making a scene over the Pou- over the wine."

"So what happened to make you so happy again? Did Maris die leave everything to you in her will?" Roz paused, pursing her lips. It hadn't felt right to pull the Maris card after what he'd just told her and she wished she could take it back, especially when she saw his face fall a fraction. "Sorry, I've been saving that one up. That wasn't really the right time for it."

"You're right, Roz. I can think of at least a dozen other occasions when that would have been a brilliant opening serve…"

"… but I dropped the ball this time?" Roz finished Niles' metaphor for him.

With a half-smirking smile, Niles said, "Something like that."

"So what are the cases for, Niles?" Roz asked as he sat down.

"These? These suitcases represent the salvation of my sanity. I'm finally going home to the Montana. Frasier and I are seeing off my tenant tonight after work."

"Hey, that's great, Niles!"

"That's not all," he said, smiling yet again. "This morning as I slammed my bed back into the wall for the final time, I resolved to ask out this woman I've been agonising over and accept the inevitable rejection with grace."

Frasier's face fell into a worried expression. "You're not referring to Daphne, I hope."

"Oh, of course not! Frasier, I know that my actions the other weekend only served to drive Daphne deeper into Donny's arms. And I'm sure Roz would agree that our charade to cover our attempts to win their hearts was utterly deceitful and I apologise for any hurt or distress we caused you and Dad."

"Actually," Frasier said with a wry smile. "Dad was surprisingly supportive. He compared the two of you to him and Mom in their younger days."

At that moment the waitress came with Niles' coffee. He thanked her and turned his gaze down to his cup, with it's off-white foam close to the brim and topped with his whisper of cinnamon sprinkled into a smiley face.

Niles sighed at said sincerely to his brother. "I just wanted to say that my colossal mistake made me realise something about another woman in my life."

Roz swallowed her coffee a too hard and took her next sip a little too quickly. The next few moments of her spluttering and being fussed over in stereo faded rapidly into Frasier leaping up from the table and Roz finding herself alone with Niles. His arm lingered at her back. He even started to rub her back as she continued to cough, asking if she was all right. She was shocked to realise how good that felt, so good that she was pleased that he didn't stop when told him she was okay.

When Roz looked up, she saw Frasier at the counter paying for a bottle of water. She knew that if she was going to stop this thing in it's tracks, she was realised she was going to have to say something now.

"Okay, Niles, I'm sorry if I've read the signals wrong," she began slowly, still getting her breath back, then she grabbed Niles by the tie, pulled him towards her and hissed, "But if it's me and you say anything in front of your brother, you can absolutely bet on that rejection."

"What makes you think it's you?"

"A couple of things. Like all that when you came in and how you barely noticed that waitress flirting with you."

"That waitress was flirting with me?" Niles said, feigning utter cluelessness.

"I said barely! You clearly noticed a little."

"Maybe a little but I had something else on my mind. I felt a bit of a frisson as we shared glances by the door. I was hoping that meant you might like to -" Niles' eyes went wide as Roz tugged on his tie and tilted her head to signal that Frasier was on his way back over. "Okay, I promise I won't say anything! Now, if you don't mind, I! Can't! Breathe!"

Frasier could not resist a comment when he returned to find Roz choking his brother with his own tie. "Ah, Roz, feeling better already, I see."

Niles rapidly extracted himself from Roz's loosened grip but remained on the bench with his leg pressed against hers. She wondered if the heat rising in her face was from her choking on coffee or correctly guessing that she was Niles' new crush and now being stuck next to him.

Hearing the total silence from Niles' side of the bench, Roz realised it was down to her to think of a cover. "Niles was trying to back out of asking this girl out for a date. So, I've promised to go out to dinner with him tonight if she says no."

"Yes, Roz and I were just agreeing that there's nothing like a good incentive to bolster one's spirits for the task at hand." Niles said, his face contorting into a strained grin as Roz kicked him under the table.

"So, who is she?" Frasier asked as passed Roz her water and sat back down.

Niles glanced at Roz but she gave him a look she knew would scare him out of it. He cleared his throat and said carefully, "If you don't mind, Frasier, I'd rather keep her identity to myself for the time being. She's quite a close friend and a few feathers could get ruffled if this isn't handled with a certain degree of care and discretion."

"Now, Niles," Frasier said warningly. "You're making it sound to me like this supposedly new crush of yours could be Daphne."

"Frasier, I assure you that I do not intend to break Daphne up with her boyfriend. I would never dream of attempting such a thing… again." Niles shared another desperate look with Roz, both of them once more recalling the failed attempt he'd made to set Roz back up with her ex-boyfriend so he could have Daphne to himself, then took a sip of coffee as he gathered himself and his thoughts. "The woman I have set my sights on is, as far as I know, free as a bird. It's just a matter of if she'll appreciate my attention and whether she can reciprocate my feelings. Today's probably not the best time for this anyway. I've just remembered, she's having lunch with her boss."

Roz squeezed his hand and said comfortingly, "Look, Niles, I'm sure she'll be really flattered you like her. Just make sure you don't try to spring it on her in front of her boss."

"As if I was going to do that! You think I was planning to walk in there declare my feelings for her in front of everyone?"

"You might have been. That's what you made it sound like before. How was I to know you wouldn't do something that stupid?"

"I would hope you'd give me a bit more credit than that, especially when I know that her boss is a gossiping ninny and an interfering-"

"As much as I'd love to let the two of you argue this out," Frasier interrupted, "we've got a show to do, Roz. Niles, if you'll excuse us."

"What am I supposed to do about my date?" Niles asked, throwing his hands up in despair before shuffling off the bench to let Roz out. He tripped over his cases as he tried to get round the table.

"Well, if you feel you need a bit more time, Niles, maybe it's wise for you to wait a while," Frasier suggested while his brother regained his balance and moved his things out of Roz's way.

"You mean like he did with Daphne?" Roz asked sarcastically. "Frasier, we want to get Niles his date, not set him back another six years. Niles, why don't you take me up on my offer? We'll go have dinner, you tell me all about her and I'll talk you through how to ask her out. Okay?"

"That sounds wonderful," Niles said with that delighted smile returning to his face.

They both glanced down at Roz's hand resting on Niles' arm. Roz hadn't noticed herself putting it there and now she couldn't seem to drag it away. She had it bad, she realised, even worse now she knew Niles had it pretty bad too. They had some good chemistry going on right now. Maybe a bit of dating wasn't beyond them. Sadly, Roz could imagine it fizzling out pretty quick, as they were not really each other's types and he'd probably drop her the moment Daphne became single. Roz still had a sore shoulder from when Niles had literally dropped her for Daphne to remind her of that.

Even so, there was no reason why they couldn't have a bit of fun in the mean time. Roz leaned forward to give Niles a kiss goodbye on the cheek while Frasier's back was turned. Niles looked like he wanted more and Roz wondered to herself how big a deal it would be if she just gave him a real kiss right then. Yeah, Frasier might be a bit shocked but, if she needed to, she could turn it back on him for not being able to figure it out. It wasn't as though Niles had been exactly subtle.

She knew that she ought to say something before things tangled themselves into the usual stupidly complicated lies and the situation ended up a lot more messy than it needed to be. The truth was on the tip of her tongue but Frasier was half-way out the door so instead she yelled that she would catch him up.

Niles insisted that he would take care of the check but Roz threw in her share anyway. He then offered to walk her into work and she agreed. They even had a nice, carefree fight about who was going to pay for dinner that night. Roz let Niles win that one, knowing full well that he was dying to take her to one of his fancy restaurants and that it would make a smaller dent in his wallet than her own.

Roz saw that Frasier was already in his booth by the time she and Niles got up there. He had his back to the glass but he might turn around and see them together at any moment. An idea struck Roz and she grabbed Niles for a kiss that lasted until he ran out of breath. Roz glanced through the glass but it looked like Frasier hadn't noticed anything. She dove towards Niles for another go. As Niles was recovering from this second kiss, Roz peered into the booth again. Frasier was on the phone.

She considered keeping Niles around until someone with a big mouth could come round the corner and catch them at it. Where was Bulldog when they needed him? Eventually, Niles was checking his watch frequently enough that Roz had to admit to herself that it wasn't going to be as easy to blow as she'd thought.

So, she told herself, get over it or give up.

Roz took Niles' hand in hers. She pressed herself against him and they kissed again. She was more gentle with him this time, taking it slowly at first and letting Niles set the pace as it went on. Niles seemed to appreciate that. Maybe he'd been able to tell that those other kisses had been mostly for show. Maybe he just liked feeling in control for once in his life. It was at that moment that Roz swore to herself that she would let Niles choose where this was going. The guy deserved a lucky break. Maybe it was her ego talking but Roz liked to think she was a pretty lucky break.


End file.
